S P I N E
Spine tells the story of Natalie Tyler's journey and struggles with scoliosis. Tyler uses dance to depict the pain, growth, and strength she experienced along the way.
The Process
One realization that I’ve made while working on SPINE was that I like to dance independently. My whole life I did not have my own studio until I came to Winona state, but even then, I felt like I taught myself many ways of moving I do now. I constantly improv or grab movements from other choreographers I am inspired by, to try them myself and see if it will challenge me more in any sense. I also started to like filming myself because if I can get one movement right, I would not have to share anything else. It is this that made me feel comfortable in readjusting the traditional Dancescape performance to film. However, it did help to have a talented roommate, like Francisco Angel, as a filmmaker. The evolution of SPINE was curated from my experience with spinal fusion, self-taught lyricism and constructive criticism in feedbacks that made me think outside the box.
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Watch the first idea!
SPINE is based on my experience with spinal fusion. Growing up, I was used to going to doctor check-ups every three to six months to see if my curve on my spine was getting better or worst. I wore a brace in middle school, and by the time I was thirteen, my highest degree was 62 and my spine was shaped like an s. Having a big surgery like this so young is quite traumatizing. I lost a lot of flexibility and I was frightened I would not be able to dance the same way again, and I wasn’t. My body felt trapped, and in a similar way to how I felt wearing my back-brace. I portrayed this fear in SPINE.
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The biggest thing to me is that no one tells a dancer going through fusion how hard it will be after; even after healing, there are moves you can no longer do, and you cannot explain why; your body just gives up. Then, if you force it, your body feels pain. However, I loved dance, so I kept doing it. I think the worst experience was watching myself dance. I looked stiff even if I felt loose.
Because I’ve gone through two procedures, the scene outside speaks to me physically and mentally. I continued to dance even if it did not look the same as I felt, which is the closest feeling, for me, of doing terrible improv. Climbing the rock represents a perseverance I had until the end of my second procedure. My mom told me I was so brave, but it was the opposite; I was re-living my nightmare. The difference was that I did it once before, so I knew I could do it again. But surprisingly, having the second surgery was the best thing that had happened to me. I no longer have metal rods in of me, they are in a bag underneath my bed in the cities. My spine is fused like a rock, but I got more mobility back. This is what I wanted for the end, for others to see how content I am with the body that I have. My scoliosis experience went on for a decade, and I am hoping this entire project concludes it.
The entirety of SPINE portrayed my lyrical genre of moving. The first dance I learned was ballet as a kid, and as I grew up, I had always wished to do lyrical and hip-hop. It was not until college I took my first lyrical dance in quarantine, actually. By then, I had felt like I grew into my own body and moving felt very natural. While I wanted the art of lyrical to be in my piece, I had to figure out what moves would be consider striking for something of horror. This was the hardest thing to do choreographing. I knew I wanted it to be an eerie vibe, and something that leaves a viewer left wondering. Every dance I knew that kept me wondering was from Dance Moms. I know it sounds silly, but I watched the group dance Amber Alert so many times one summer, it’s that and their dance based on the Ouija board that gave me so much inspiration. The middle and third sections both contained modern movements that I felt safe with. There were many body feel-good combinations I learned while being in Professor Ricci’s class right after my recovery last year. These movements created something new that expanded my usual drive as a choreographer. Before this, I had not tried choreographing anything modern. In addition to this, there was a move I learned from Ella Otto the week before we filmed. It was a key-move she told me she always did with her elbows, and I ended up using it in a cut Angel put in the final sequence. Lyrical and ballet are still dance forms I learn from today. I felt that it was right to use for my experience in dance. I started with a lyrical form of dance, and that’s how it should end.
Revisited Rough-Cut Scenes
The second full draft is about eleven minutes long. The cut had an added-interview format of myself, and all three sections I wanted since the beginning. The interview was put in because of original feedback that said viewers needed to know more background information. However, the interview was too much, and it no longer held a mystery. The question was how to give viewers a glimpse on what my story was without actually spoiling the whole story. The final title, SPINE, was the answer to this. It is simple, but clear; it’s a given to know the story. The third section was the most essential part of my story. It was so important to me, I had to show my viewers something to make it outside the box, like the previous sections before. This expanded the creativity and thinking Angel and I already did in the project, and I am thankful for it. He came up with the genius idea to use my pictures from the personal experience. I thought, what could be more intimate than that? It was perfect, and I knew it would come out better than I could hope for.
I love to dance. I don’t need to be good at it, I just want to feel happy as I am dancing. Spinal fusion, self-taught lyricism and constructive criticism helped build SPINE, a creative dance film for the Dancescape Film Festival that is now my favorite video of myself dancing. I get goosebumps watching myself dance in this, something I had never felt before previously when I watched myself. This is the effect I hope to give viewers, something that will bring them hope to what they think is impossible.
FULL FILM COMING SOON TBD
